DIFFERENT PERSONALITY

IS IT STRANGE TO BE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A DIFFERENT PERSONALITY? I ALWAYS THOUGHT IF IT'S POSSIBLE TO FIND A WAY TO TELL IF THE PERSON COULD BE SOMEONE YOU TRUST. I WONDER IF I WOULD CHOOSE RIGHT. PEOPLE ARE VERY TRICKY. ESPECIALLY......GUYS.

I MISS MY

I miss the people I left behind.
I miss my family.
My home.
My room.
My personal stuff.
My Mp3.
My neighborhood.
and.....can't think any more.
I guess I said every thing.

NOOOOO!!!!

Global Regents is coming up. and I haven't prepared myself for it. I'm not sure what to do. I feel afraid and worried. I feel I'm starting all over again. from tenth grade. Every time I have regents to do I get really nervous. my heart feels like it's about to tear. I feel I'm going to loose pressure. loose hope and my dreams. It's almost like I already lived this before. I don't feel like myself. I feel I am different. I feel weak instead of strong. I can't believe I'm even typing this on my bloggs.

FEELING THIS

I am feeling okay....
and I have a crazy friend standing right next to me...
she's scaring me....
That friend standing right next to me...
is my crazy friend....SONYA....
she's known as Kitty.....
yes she is....
every one knows that she's a cat....
because she acts just like a cat....
that's why....
never met any one like her....
which is good....
that way I wont forget her....
I'm just very happy to have a friend like her....
even though sometimes she takes it to the next level.

ABOUT THEATER

I WAS SUPPOSE TO SHOW UP FOR THE 

PERFORMANCE BUT...I HAD TO GO HOME.

ONE OF MY LITTLE BROTHERS WAS SICK.

I HAD TO GO HOME TO BABY SIT MY OTHER SIBLINGS, WHILE

MY MOTHER TAKES MY LITTLE BROTHER TO THE HOSPITAL.

FRIDAY

YES!!!

Today is friday.

I can't wait to go home.

I want to get some rest before I 

finish doing some  of my projects.

Even though I have to hand them all in

on Monday, which is one of the days

that I really hate the most.

I can't wait to continue finishing my role play with my siblings.

FREEDOM

PLAYING A GAME

I WAN TO PLAY A REALLY FUN GAME.

Not a game that little kids play.

NOT A GAME THAT.... ADULTS PLAY.

A game where I would be able to to enjoy beating my opponent.

YEA I'M TALKING ABOUT A VIDEO GAME.

Any game that has to do with fighting

AND KICKING ASS

I can't wait to go home and

PLAY ALL OF MY VIDEO GAMES.

Even though I have to finish me projects.

BUT PLAYING FOR A LITTLE WHILE WONT

Hurt...... Right?

A PERSON TO LOVE

I wish I could fall in love again

but I can't

why?

because after my last boy friend I broke up with

I haven't fell in love with another.

I need someone who will actually care for me.

someone who will respect me.

someone who will make me laugh

and someone to lean on and

 cry on their shoulder.

but I could wait though

but hopefully I don't wait too long.

hopefully when the perfect person arrives,

I would be with him 

until the day we die.

RUNNING AWAY

I am running away.

Not from a bully.

Not from a scary animal

and seriously not from my parents.

I run away, because I want to escape from the 

hard work that I'm going through.

I'm behind but not a lot.

I promise myself not to work too much.

I have a friend who is really stressed out.

She had been working for too long

that she actually bursts into tears.

My friends and I try to convince her not to stress herself a lot.

we don't want her to go insane.

I miss her friendly smile

and her funny reactions.

she always use to talk about her funny life.

but now we don't talk about anything. 

I wish we were still the same 

the way we were on freshmen year.

before the damn work started to get difficult.

WE ARE ALL TO BLAME

Yes we are all stressed out.

Maybe about the same thing,

or maybe our personal life.

Many blame others and many blame themselves.

I wish I could blame someone,

but luckily

I'm very nice to actually do that.

It could be that we are all to blame...

but some don't believe in that.

some are afraid, and some just don't want to think that way. 

AND TODAY I...

I WANNA GO HOME!!!

I CAN'T TAKE IT ANY MORE.

MY MIND IS BLANK

MY MIND IS FULL OF THOUGHTS.

MY MIND NEVER RESTS

IT'S ALWAYS DOING SOMETHING FOR ME TO REGRET.

I HAVE TO STUDY FOR THE DAMN REGENTS.

BUT IT'S HARD TO CONCENTRATE

I WISH I HAD PASS ALL OF MY DAMN REGENTS 

SO THAT I COULD OF HAD FUN TODAY.

I SOMETIME FEEL LIKE KILLING SOMEONE

BUT NOT ANYONE I LOVE

ONLY THE OUT SIDERS

(Don't worry you guys...I'm not planning on

killing you all....Not just yet.)

CONFUSED

I have no idea where to go

or what to do.

I can't lie and say that all these works are easy for me.

I like to write but about better things.

even though I feel ill today 

I can't just quit with my work.

I hate getting sick,

I hate feeling sick,

and I hate the sickness for existing.

My day today is rewind 

because none of my friends showed up.

(Except for my good friend samantha...I love you.)

other than that we are doing work.

I feel I been writing for ever in school.

I can't wait to get out of school.

You know, so I can do my own things and 

have a free time.

1/22/09

Today I'm feeling very sick.

My stomach has been hurting since the morning.

I woke up very tired, and a little sick.

but it didn't stop me from going to school.

I have a performance for theater class,

and I am not ready yet.

Not only because I feel sick but is because we 

didn't really work out on a theme for us to

actually do real performance.

I can't wait to go home and then go to sleep.

I never get enough sleep because

I sleep kinda late.

NO MORE

I can't write any more poems

my mind is blank.

I wish I could write more poems

so I can treasure it in a bank.

If I don't do something fast

then I'll forget everything I did in the past.

something has to be done

or everything will be gone.

I can't do no more

everything in me has already tore.

I pick up my pen

and number my pages from 

one through ten.

What ever I'm writing in order

I feel life is getting older.

No matter how long it takes

I will try to finish any where, near

oceans or near lakes.

I can't do no more

Everything in me had already tore. 

NO ONE

I run through the trees

finding a way to disappear.

No matter where I go 

there is always someone running after me.

I keep running until I find a way to loose them

It doesn't really matter how hard I try

they are only getting closer.

When I turn back to look

there is no one behind me.

I run and run until I find a safe place to be

A safe place where no one will harm me

where no one will be able to find me.

I hear voices though

Voices I don't know

Voices from the ones who were after me

They say to give up

There is no one left in this world

that has the same feeling as you.

I look around but no one is there.

I might be going insane

or maybe I'm in a nightmare of dreams.

where will you go? With who will you go? They say.

I had my eyes closed, but once I opened them

I yelled out and said "Stop! you are just a no one!"

LOVE

I wonder a lot

If love really exists

If it really does, there wouldn't be hate.

what is really love?

Love is just a word that exists

in dreams or in books.

I wish love were real and not just a word.

SAVE ME

There's darkness around me 

I feel like something is surrounding me.

I want to break free but something stops me

What should I do to get to see a knew me

Not letting that something take me.

I'm sitting all alone

wondering if any one will arrive to rescue me.

HANGING UP THEIR PICTURES

I am lying on my bed 

staring at the empty wall

wondering what to hang up.

while I'm lying there 

nice and still 

Flashbacks I see of my family and me

The great times we had 

was like a beautiful nice dream.

i never knew later on

we the whole family

were going to break apart

I opened my eyes

and one at a time

I hang up their pictures

on the empty wall.

wondering if we will be able

to change each others heart

into those great times we use to have.

SILENCE

Haven't spoken to someone

for two whole years.

No one doesn't notice which I'm glad

because no one doesn't focus

I wish to go back in time 

It doesn't matter if I waste a dime

Just want to stop it

before it happens

Which I wish that what had happened

had never existed.

My whole life is now infested

I can't cure it

So what medicine should I use so

that I could pore it 

Into that empty sadness that I'm

holding

Into that empty sadness that is 

molding

I need some strength

I need some power

My shyness is controlling me

It holds me back, so just forgive me

No matter how hard I try

It doesn't work so I just cry

We both were united

but when we both enter the same room

One of us is uninvited

What should I do for my own

blood to forgive me?

I don't want to wait 

when it's already too late

I want us to be the same

cheerful, and eager

Very pleased and friendly to others.

Like the way a mother and daughter

listen to each other.

WHAT HAVE I BECOME

I was trapped in a cold                                           

darkness full of pain

Not finding a way to escape

and I ask myself

Do I like this?

Do I want this?

I repeated it in my head

Where wet water drips down my face

Finding a way to escape

Finding a way to be brave

I then realize I'm trapped around with chains

While I get out of control

Not only am I hurting myself

I'm also hurting my veins

My heart pounds slowly every minute

I'm loosing energy, I'm loosing air

I look up into the sky even though

I see pitch black

My eyes turn pale and my eyes are full

of bloody tears

I show no fear

I repeated myself these words...

Let all these fools who stand before me

be destroyed, by the power that you and I

posses...

seriously...

what have I become?

LISTEN

I need you to listen

So pay close attention

I need you to hear me

So shut up and look at me

It's time for me to look

down at you and

It's time for you to look 

up at me

I'm tired of all your

fantasy

I'm tired of all you

lies

I already herd you 

enough

so now it's time for

you to listen to me

I wish I had never met

you

but it's too late for that

now

It's hard for me to let you go,

but someday there will be

someone who will rescue me,

and open my eyes to finally

get the strength to say...

IT'S OVER!!! 

MY FEELINGS

Today I feel depressed
because i wrote a sad poem
A poem that touches my soul
A poem I wish I haven't wrote.

BROKEN

WHAT A SHAME WE ALL BECAME
SUCH FRAGILE BROKEN THINGS
THE MEMORY REMAINS
JUST A TINY PART
IF ONLY THERE WERE LESS IDIOTS
LESS STUPIDITY,LESS IGNORANTS
MAYBE THE WORLD WILL BE A
BETTER PLACE TO BE
BUT TOO MUCH SELFISHNESS IS GOING ON
NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS
EVERYONE WANTS TO SOLVE IT
FIGHTING AND
STOP THEMSELVES WHEN THEY WIN.

TO JONAS

I got alot to say to you.
yes I got alot to say.
noticed your eyes are always glued to me.
keeping it in here it makes no sense at all.
I wish you were here,sitting right next to me.
but hopefully another one will be better than you.
If you want to play it like a game
well,come on come on lets play
cause I rather waste my life pretending
than have to forget you for one whole minute
yea...okay
I'm glad I broke up with you.

Broken love

what is broken love?
it's something that makes your heart
cry blood tears.
it's something that makes you feel that something
preciouse has been taken away from you.
I was happy.
I lived in a beautiful life.
with a guy that I loved.
I was a happy girl,when one day these men arrived.
they distroyed everything around them.
they distroyed my one time home.
they killed my people.
they killed my family.
and they killed the men I one time loved.
I ran away trying to save myself.
when five of them were after me.
I decided to take the short cut.
but it did'nt help at all. 

WISH LIFE WAS EASY

I wish life was a little bit easier.
for example getting a job without doing too much tests.
getting paid without getting money taken away.
going to college is what we have to do.
in order to get a job.
but I still don't understand,why we need to do too much things
in order to get into a college we want.
If only the ones that made up these rules can open their eyes
and see that they are trying to keep people
from going to college.
they want them to drop out at a young age,knowing that what they
are doing is getting them get what they want.
proving them that we are lazy and we worth nothing.
it's not that we are lazy.
we are just tired of all these damn tests.

Android 18

Android 18 is my favorite dbz character.

I wish I can be like her.

having the same strength, 

same looks.

but the only thing is....

I don't want to be an android.

she could of been a saiyan

maybe a half or a full.

but it's okay ...for the moment.

because I'm going to create my own dbz story....

but even better.

I already started one... in stick figure form.

but I didn't add some of the characters.

I mostly done new ones...but at least they are good ones

hopefully one day...I would be able to draw it and turn it into

an anime that everyone would love....especially the girls.

RINGO

Ringo is my nickname

Ringo is a name that i got from one of my best friends.

she's a kitty that cares for others

a kitty that can't forget others.

Sonya Marie Meservey is her real name...

Never thought we would be friends.

never thought I was going to have a friend that has a lot of things in common.

I'm glad shes one of my best friend as well as Samantha,and my other good friend 

who we call Janna Wanna..( we love you!)

The reason why I'm called Ringo 

is because I love to eat alot of apples...

Apples are one of my favorite fruits.

My crazy friends

Today my day is going very wierd
because my crazy friends are talking about my mexican culture
and it wasn't going on right...yea they were playing my country.
they were trying to help me remind me about my password
but they are giving me some that I won't really forget...
Green card was one of them,
The boarder,
immigrants,...
and Mexican.
They are very hilarious.... very
but it doesn't really bother me
but they were going too far..
next time I am just going to throw a table at them.
and hopefully they are ready to catch.
because if they want to play it like a game....well a game I'll give them.